Greenroom of Cardcaptors
by Yuki Neco
Summary: Collection of funny skits of short talks by Cardcaptors characters, which are likely talked between episodes or For this meaning, it is entitled Greenroom of See how hilarious the skits Please
1. Chapter 1

Sorry to Cardcaptors haters...

These skits are written with character names as Cardcaptors name. I mean in the skits, Sakura Kinomoto is referred to as Sakura Avalon, Tomoyo Daidouji as Madison Taylor, and Yukito Tsukishiro as Julian Star.

Preface

These skits are the made-up short talks, which were likely talked between episodes or between scenes-not seen on TV screens. I just featured each character's personalities, making these hilarious skit. So enjoy!

**Greenroom of Cardcaptors #1  
**

by Yuki Neco

* * *

1. Victim of a Crime

Sakura comes back into her room wearily.

**Kero**: What happened to you, Sakura? You look tired.

**Sakura**: I just watched the news program on TV that featured the stalking victimizing women. Dad and I got scared, and Tori kept warning me to be careful, over and over.

**Kero**: Hmm. Hey, what does that "stalking" mean?

**Sakura**: Stalking means making frequent phone calls to a specific woman, hanging around her, stealthily videotaping her, and something like that.

**Kero**: Oh, too late. You're already a victim of a crime, Sakura.

* * *

2. Birthday

**Aiden**: Happy birthday, Sakura.

**Sakura**: Thanks, Dad!

**Tori**: Is it true that today's your birthday? I thought it was just a lie 'cuz it's April 1.

**Sakura**: Grrr.  
Ah-hem. I'll forgive you. I just grew up a step forward. By the way, people are supposed to lie on April 1, but why do they call it April Fools' Day?

**Tori**: Simply because it's your birthday.

**Sakura**: What'd you say?! Your birthday comes only once every four years, so you're still four years old!

**Aiden**: Hey, you two. Stop giving each other a hard time on your every birthday.

* * *

3. Why Doesn't Li Seal Cards?

Sakura successfully seals the Dream Card in the entrance hall of the radio tower, which flies into Li's palm. Li looks exhausted because he used the Time Card which need much energy.

**Sakura**: Are you OK, Li?

**Li**: Yeah...

**Meilin**: But this is Li's Card.  
And, Li, why do you always have Avalon seal the Cards?

**Madison**: Is that because he doesn't have the sealing wand?

**Meilin**: Hey, remember. Li can use the Card with his sword—the sword with great magical powers.

**Madison**: You're right. Then can you really seal the Cards with that sword?

**Li**: Yeah, I can. (← Never mentioned in the original manga, though... :P)

**Meilin**: Then why didn't you seal them yourself?!

**Li**: Well... Um...

**Madison**: Heh heh heh, that explains it.

**Meilin**: What? Madison, you know something?

**Madison**: When Sakura seals a Card, her skirt flies up in a gust of wind.

**Li**: M-Madison, I don't mean uh...

**Meilin**: Huh? What's that's supposed to... Aah, Li! I don't want you to look at other girls that way! You, two-timer!

**Li**: Calm down, Meilin! It's not that.

**Sakura**: Huh? What's wrong?  
... [Leans her head to the left with her finger on her mouth] ...  
Hoeeeee! Li, is that truuuue?!

* * *

4. Ladies First

**Nikki**: Hey, you were brought up in England, Eli?

**Eli**: Yes, but why?

**Nikki**: England is the nation of gentlemen.

**Rita**: I know what you mean. Eli looks like a gentleman itself.

**Chelsea**: Absolutely. He's so polite, just unlike that little jerk you-know-who.

**Eli**: I wonder what kind of person seems like a gentleman. I'm not sure of that myself.

**Zachary**: What about manners? For example, ladies first or something.

**Eli**: Come to think of it, it's considered to be a good manner to let a woman go first when you get on a bus.

**Zachary**: And when you step on an escalator.

**Eli**: Oh, you're a gentleman, too, Zachary. Especially, the politeness to a woman in a miniskirt is better. Hee hee.

**Sakura**: Hoe? What are you laughing at?

* * *

5. Planning Ability

**Madison**: Sakura, I am thinking I want to design your bathing suit.

**Sakura**: What? Bathing suit?

**Madison**: Yeah, but I haven't decided the theme—to emphasize your kawaiiness in the water...

**Sakura**: Hey, Madison... Don't push yourself, I mean, you don't really have to...

**Madison**: Don't be so modest, Sakura. Just leave it to me. Designing your outfits takes two benefits to me—very big benefits!

**Sakura**: Two benefits?

**Madison**: Yes, to the history and my career. First, through my design, people all over the world will pay attention to and be attracted by your charm. You'll be the history of the world's kawaiiness in the future. And second, I'm very happy planning how I should show off your kawaiiness. This is a good training for me to improve my planning ability for the CEO-to-be of Taylor's successful toy manufacturing business empire!

**Sakura**: Hey, you're exaggerating...

**Madison**: No, it's true, I really mean it. What kind of bathing suit will be most appealing?

**Sakura**: Hey... don't tell me you're thinking of a bathing suit made of paper that will dissolve in water...?

**Madison**: Oh, Sakura, you're genius!

**Sakura**: What? Are you saying you want to peel off me naked?

**Madison**: No, no, don't worry. I just thought up of a double-layerd bathing suit. The outer shell is made of paper, and it dissolves in water, and the inner layer appears spreading a pair of beautiful wings! The theme is "Butterfly Growing out from a Pupa"! That'll be great! I gotta design it, I can't wait!

**Sakura**: Oh, man...

* * *

6. Plan for Weekend

**Tori**: Hey, squirt. Are you going somewhere next weekend?

**Sakura**: Next weekend? Oh, I'm going to Reedington Amusument Park with my friends?

**Tori**: Friends?

**Sakura**: Yeah, Madison and Li.

**Tori**: That brat, huh?

**Sakura**: Huh?

**Tori**: Reedington Amusement Park... they have a restaurant, an arcade, and...

**Sakura**: What's wrong? Why did you ask that?

**Tori**: Nothing. I just wanted to decide the part time job for next weekend.

**Sakura**: Hoe?

* * *

7. Business Failure

**Julian**: Do you know "La Cucina Provinciale" went bankrupt these days?

**Sakura**: La Cucina? Is that the provincial Italian restaurant near your school?

**Julian**: Yes, it was a nice place, always full of customers.

**Tori**: Then what was it that made them have to go out of business?

**Julian**: Search me. It's a pity, they charged only $12 no matter how much you ate, though. I liked the place so much, I used to eat there three times a week!

**Tori**: Oh, now I found the reason, Julian.

**Sakura**: So did I...

* * *

8. Warning Cards

Sakura flashes a Clow Card to Li in the classroom.

**Li**: Hey, Sakura, this is way too public. Put it back.

**Sakura**: Yeah, I know. [Flashing the Card again]

**Li**: You can't use a magic, everybody is watching.

**Sakura**: I know it. I don't mean I'm going to fly.

**Li**: Then you'd better put it back right now. I'm warning you.

**Madison**: Oh, Li, I guess she's the one who's been warning you. Don't you know why she has to show you the Fly Card?

**Li**: What do you mean?

**Madison**: Sakura, he doesn't know it unless you tell him exactly what's the problem.

**Sakura**: You're right. OK, Li, listen.

**Li**: Wh-what is it?

**Sakura**: Your Fly is undone! Everybody was watching you.

**Li**: Daaahh!

* * *

9. Something Weird

It is mentioned in manga that Li was always suspicious of Ms. Mackenzie, because he is a descendant of Clow Reed and his magic is ruled by the moon, while Ms. Mackenzie's moon magic is slightly different than Clow Reed's magic. Furthermore, she was the key to make Sakura defeat Yue in the final judgement, so that was more likely to be the reason.  
But There may be another reason...

**Li**: How many times did I tell you, Avalon, she isn't what she seems!

**Sakura**: I don't get it. Why do you always think that way of Ms. Mackenzie, Li?

**Li**: You know, she has a strong power... and besides, there's something weird about her.

**Sakura**: Something weird?

**Li**: Yeah, I can feel it. To be exact, I can feel chills.

Meanwhile, a woman was watching them talk from behind the corner.

**Layla**: Li Showron, how cute he is. [Chuckles]

It is a well known fact to CCS fans that Ms. Mackenzie tend be in love with younger boys. ;P

* * *

10. Foxy Woman

**Sakura**: Today I received a letter from Ms. Mackenzie!

**Madison**: Wow, you're exchanging letters with Ms. Mackenzie, aren't you.

**Sakura**: Yeah, I can ask her for some advice, and she tells me something interesting that's happening in England.

**Madison**: Are there any interesting topics in today's letter?

**Sakura**: Uh... right. She is enjoying her campus life in London, and she made friends with cute blonde boys with blue eyes.

**Eli**: Is that what she said?!

**Sakura**: Aw! Eli, what's wrong with you?

**Eli**: Ah-hem... nothing... uhh... who's Ms. Mackenzie, anyway?

**Madison**: She was our homeroom teacher before you transferred in.

**Sakura**: Yeah, nice teacher she was, so kind, pretty...

**Zachary**: And foxy! Don't you feel the same, Li?

**Li**: I... uh...

**Sakura**: Come to think of it, Li was always suspicious of Ms. Mackenzie.

**Zachary**: I know how you feel, Li. She was kind of mysterious, I agree. A grown-up woman... how nice it sounds!

**Li**: What're you talking about? I don't...

**Zachary**: Not to mention, Li. I know you're thinking what I'm thinking. Oh, how nice it could be if she stepped on my face on her high-heeled shoe.

**Sakura**: Are you thinking the same thing, Li?

**Li**: No, I...

**Zachary**: You gotta be honest to your heart, Li, just like me.

**Chelsea**: What the heck do you think you're saying, Zach?!

**Zachary**: Hey, I'm not lying! I'm just acting honest to my heart.

**Chelsea**: Come with me, jerk! Unforgivable! [Drags Zachary out the spot]

**Sakura**: Hoeee...MadisonIs she going to bind him tightly and leave him on the roadway again?

**Li**: I... I'm not thinking such a stuff.

**Eli**: [Chuckles] _Actually, that is what I've been thinking._


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry to Cardcaptors haters...

These skits are written with character names as Cardcaptors name. I mean in the skits, Sakura Kinomoto is referred to as Sakura Avalon, Tomoyo Daidouji as Madison Taylor, and Yukito Tsukishiro as Julian Star.

Preface

These skits are the made-up short talks, which were likely talked between episodes or between scenes-not seen on TV screens. I just featured each character's personalities, making these hilarious skit. So enjoy!

**Greenroom of Cardcaptors #2**

by Yuki Neco

* * *

11. Shamanism

Samantha, accompanied by some bodyguards behind, takes Aiden into a room. Back inside the dark room, an old woman was sitting at the table, on which a crystal ball is placed.

**Aiden**: Samantha, this is the shaman you talked about?

**Samantha**: Yeah, Mr. Avalon. Zelda Morris, despite her age of over ninety, she has a great power to channel the spirits to help you contact the spiritual world, just behind 80 years of her experience.

**Aiden**: And just between her deep wrinkles on her face...

Samantha: Hey, Mr. Avalon, you just came here to talk to your wife, didn't you?

**Aiden**: Uh, right... Ms. Morris, I need your help. I want to talk to my wife Natasha who died 8 years ago.

**Zelda**: All right, mister, I already knew exactly what you wanted. No need to talk. Just leave it up to me. Grrr... peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers she sells seashells down by the seashore thick wool was gotten from my sixth sick sheep.

**Samantha**: Weird spell, huh...

Suddenly, Zelda Morris looks blank for a few seconds, until she starts looking all around blinking her eyes.

**Zelda**: Oh! Wh-where am I? Hey! It's you, Mr. Avalon!

**Aiden**: It works! Natasha takes on Ms. Morris!

**Samantha**: How do you know?

**Aiden**: Who ever expects her to call her own husband Mr. Avalon? That's the way she called me.

**Samantha**: You're right.

**Aiden**: It's you, Natasha, I'm glad you back here.

**Zelda**: Me, too, Mr. Avalon.

**Aiden**: How do you like it in the heaven up in the sky?

**Zelda**: It is a nice place to live... oops, never mind. Beautiful place indeed, but I can visit back home from time to time. I'm very happy to see Tori and Sakura growing day by day.

**Aiden**: Yeah. Tori tells me he sometimes sees you.

**Zelda**: But, this is my happiest time I've ever had. I know how deeply I still love you. How 'bout you?

**Aiden**: Why not? I'm still deeper than any ocean in love with you. I swear.

**Zelda**: Really, Mr. Avalon? So prove it.

**Aiden**: Huh?

**Zelda**: I want you to hug me, and kiss me tenderly. [Looking into Aiden's face with her deeply wrinkled face]

**Aiden**: Uggghhh! Uh... another chance, OK? I mean... it's way too public...

* * *

12. Hina Dolls

**Sakura**: Yay! Hina-matsuri is just a few days away!

**Tori**: Huh? You're gonna display those dolls this year again?

**Sakura**: Why not? Doll festival, that's what the dolls are for. And they're pretty!

**Tori**: You'll be busy. I guess you'll have to put them away as soon as the festival's over. It'll rather be better if you leave them on display. Then you wouldn't have to set them or take them away every year.

**Sakura**: That's no good. If I take them away late, they say, I'll get married way too late.

**Tori**: That's what I meant...

**Sakura**: What?

**Tori**: Nothing... That's just a superstition. I mean, the hina dolls are so pretty, that I'd love to see them... forever.

**Sakura**: Hoe?

[NOTE] Hina dolls are the display for hina-matsuri, the Japanese traditional doll festival on March 3. The set of dolls includes Emperor and Emperess arranged at the top step, three court ladies, and five musicians on the lower steps. The festival is held on March 3rd, for wishing their daughters to grow with good luck.

* * *

13. New Magical Card

**Sakura**: Guess what. This is what I've been thinking about these days, I want to create my own magical Card.

**Madison**: Oh, Sakura, I'm sure you can do it. Don't you remember? You created a new card the day Li went back to Hong Kong.

**Sakura**: Right. But I don't quite remember how I did it.

**Madison**: Not as easy as it sounds, huh...? But, what Card do you want to create, Sakura?

**Sakura**: Uhh... I want uh... the Transport Card. I mean... that can transport your ability or skill to someone else. For example, I can transport my magical power to you, so you can use a magic.

**Madison**: Oh, that's a super terrific idea, Sakura. I can't wait to use a magic on my own!

**Sakura**: But then... if something strange happens and I am sick in bed, you can take care of the mystery instead of me, in a battle costume you made.

**Madison**: Oh, no, Sakura! Wearing one of those frilly outfits in public is quite humiliating to me!

**Sakura**: M-Madison? Is it just me... or did you sound very cruel to me?

**Madison**: Hohoho... did I say something?

* * *

14. Victim of a Crime 2

**Sakura** is looking around her nervously.

**Kero**: Sakura, what's the matter with you?

**Sakura**: Actually, a couple of these days, I can sense something strange... as if I was being watched.

**Kero**: Sounds like what's scary.

**Sakura**: Yeah, not a joke. That really creeps me out.

**Madison**: Sakura, you sure are cuter than cutest, no wonder you're stalked by some psychos... but it's funny.

**Sakura**: Huh?

**Madison**: These days, I've been videotaping you all the time, but I didn't see anyone strange on the video.

**Sakura**: Is that so? I wonder if it's just my imagination...

**Kero**: Wait, Sakura. How can you be so dumb? You gotta figure out one thing crucial. Now I know who the stalker was.

**Sakura**: Hoe?

* * *

15. Shamanism 2

**Samantha**: Hey, Avalon. You've got a nerve to summon me on the phone, huh? What's up?

**Aiden**: Yeah, I just feel like talking to Natasha once again. I miss her so bad.

**Samantha**: Hmm... right. You want to me to take you to Ms. Morris again, right?

**Aiden**: Hmm? You mean the old shaman I visited the other day? No, no! I fell in a horrible trap there... so...

**Samantha**: So...?

**Aiden**: Hey, Samantha... I kind of wonder if there's a young pretty female shaman... around the age of 20... looking like Brittney Spears...

**Samantha**: Hey! Are you really missing Natasha, huh?!

* * *

16. Angel's Feather

On getting home, Sakura finds Tori and Julian stand in the yard and see something in a puzzled look.

**Sakura**: Hey, I'm back. Oh, hi, Julian.

**Julian**: Welcome back, Sakura.

**Sakura**: You kind of look puzzled, Tori. What's up?

**Tori**: Look. I found this feather when we were raking the yard. By its size, this doesn't belong to an ordinary bird.

**Sakura**: _Oh, no. It must be a feather of my Fly magic!_

**Julian**: What kind of bird has this big feather? But it's purely white, and beautiful, don't you think?

**Tori**: Hey, Sakura. Don't tell me you are hiding some strange creatures that has feathers like this.

**Sakura**: Well... uhh...

**Tori**: Or you yourself got wings and feather, don't you?

**Sakura**: What are you... [upset]

**Julian**: You said it, Tori. An angel's feather, do you mean? What a sweet big brother to call your sister an angel, Tori.

**Sakura**: Oh!

**Tori**: That's not what I meant. Now paleontologists hypothesize that birds evolved from dinosaurs, and some flesh eating dinosaurs had feathers. So there's no wonder Sakura has feathers on her own. [smirk]

**Sakura**: Grrr... Stop calling me a dinosaur!

* * *

17. Sleeping Cutie

In those days when Sakura was new on the mistress of the Cards, transforming a card into a Sakura Card took much of her power and she collapsed into asleep every episode. In that case, someone had to change her clothes when she was sleeping.

After transforming a card, exhausted Sakura is sleeping in Tomoyo's station wagon.

**Yue**: I untied the ribbon and unbutton her chest. Then what should I do next?

**Madison**: OK, Yue. See there's a strap coming out of the sleeve. Unhook it from the lining on the chest.

**Yue**: Uh, there is. Let's see... This outfit is really complicated! How come you had to design like this?

**Madison**: It can't be helped. For emphasizing Sakura's kawaiiness.

**Yue**: Darn! I can't take it anymore! You undress her, Keroberos.

**Keroberos**: What're you talking about? Look at my paws; I'm all thumbs. All I can do is to hold her still like this. Hey, I bet this is not the first time you undress Sakura, huh? (See the [NOTE] below.)

**Yue**: Don't call me like a perv.

**Keroberos**: Hey, the best way is this: Madison, why don't you change her clothes yourself? You're the one who designed this troublesome outfit, aren't you.

**Madison**: No, I can't! I have to keep on videotaping cuter-than-cutest Sakura in a sleep.

[NOTE] Many CCS fans believe that in **Seeing is Believing** (Australian episode) Yue changed Sakura's clothes while she was in a sleep.

* * *

18. What's the Difference?

Sakura and Kero come back out the window of her room, when the Mirror Card opens it to let them in.

**Mirror**: Oh, welcome back, Sakura.

**Sakura**: Hey, I just suppressed the evil spirits that was arising around the sacred tree of Tsukimine Shrine.

**Kero**: Sakura did a terrific job today. She's growing stronger even after she transformed all the Cards at hand.

**Mirror**: Good to hear that. Uh, by the way, something weird happened to me today?

**Sakura**: What happened?

**Mirror**: When I walked out for shopping, five guys tried to pick me up in a row.

**Sakura**: Each tried to pick you up... you mean?

**Mirror**: Yeah, each... five times in total to be exact.  
OK, I think I'll return to the card form.

The Mirror Card turns back into her card form.

**Sakura**: Hmmm, I've never experienced a situation like that. So the Mirror Card is attractive... [wearily]

**Kero**: Huh? Are you jealous of the Mirror Card?

**Sakura**: What are you talking about? I don't care because I have Li. Besides, I don't like to look for cheesy stuff like that.  
Hmm... five guys in a row... In her disguise, the Mirror and I are quite identical... but what's the difference?

**Kero**: Looks like she's totally depressed.

* * *

19. Latin Speech Contest

Sakura and the others are in the audience of the Latin speech contest held in Reedington Central Hall. Zachary, one of the participants, is making a speech in the stage.

**Sakura**: Wow, I didn't know that Zachary speaks Latin so well.

**Chelsea**: Yeah, he's so talented I must admit.

**Madison**: He speaks about wild animals in Reedington.

**Sakura**: Hey, you understand Latin as well, Madison?

**Madison**: Yeah, a little.

**Chelsea**: Are there wild animals in Reedington?

**Nikki**: Squirrels... and you know, some people see opossums at night on the hill back of the school.

In 30 seconds or 40, Chelsea jumps up on her feet, as she strides to the stage, taking the microphone off Zachary when she shouted:

**Chelsea**: Don't take it serious! He's lying, he's lying!

She walks back to her seat dragging Zachary.

**Madison**: Even in a public contest, Zachary's lie was as interesting as usual.

**Zachary**: Not just a lie, but a spice in a speech, girls.

**Chelsea**: Shut up, Zach.

**Sakura**: Hey, Chelsea, amazing you understand Latin!

**Chelsea**: No, I don't understand, but I somehow knew this freak was telling a lie, and that's all.

**Sakura**: Whoa...

According to some people who attended the contest, the chairperson of the jury was impressed by Chelsea who had perceived Zachary's lie even though she didn't understand Latin; in his awareness of the latent power of the non-language communications he decided to give her jury's special award.


End file.
